hanahaki

We always came back in the springtime rain Like broken flowers learning life again And every time, you’d make my heart rejoice You told me things he used to do at night How he made love feel something close to fright I swore I’d never let you hurt that way Then became worse than him day after day You trusted every ugly side of me Even the parts I prayed you’d never see So I pushed harder every time you stayed Terrified you’d learn I was afraid Now silver-blue petals fall from my lungs Your hair color staining my blood and tongue So love me back or let me die tonight ’Cause nothing feels alive without your light You used to save me from the dark inside Stay awake holding all my fears at night Now even dreams refuse to let you stay And every breath just slowly fades to grey I heard you’re with somebody that I knew My old classmate who’s never worthy of you And maybe he will never understand Why heaven trembles when you touch his hand You were too kind for boys like him or me Too beautiful for what we made you see The whole damn world would fall before your feet But you kept loving boys who couldn’t keep And God, the worst one standing in your life Was me pretending love survives through knives A year went by, the flowers filled my chest I almost texted you when I couldn’t rest Then one cold morning breathing felt alright And your name flashed across my phone that night You asked me if I’d like to walk again Like nothing died between us back in spring My shaking hands typed out a cold “can’t come” While every part of me screamed not to run No silver-blue petals fell from my lungs No poison growing heavy on my tongue You reached for me one final time that day And I was still too much of a coward to stay I acted distant like I didn’t care Then broke apart alone gasping for air Because each time you tried returning home I was the reason you still felt alone